Joana woke up and was grateful for the day, after all, it wasn’t just any day, it was Sunday, her favorite day. Joana is one of those people who loves animals, who loves cooking, who loves a house full of people, and Sunday is the day that brings all of this together. Noise, people talking everywhere, pans sizzling, loud music, teenagers hiding in the room avoiding the rest of the family, the dog hiding from the small children, and the cat sleeping in its sacred temple: grandma’s bed.
This was a special Sunday, the whole family was together, and Joana had even borrowed some chairs from the neighbors. There were only a few people left to arrive, including Morgana. Joana’s stomach sank a little when she thought of that name. Morgana was the typical hippie/crazy/weird person that every family has (if yours doesn’t have one, the hippie/crazy/weird person is you). Joana took a deep breath and without realizing it, she let the thought out of her mouth, “I’m sure she must have gotten another tattoo”, she shook her head in denial and went to the kitchen.
Most of the family was in the area of the house, and everyone spoke together, and mysteriously, understood each other. The topic of the moment was who had been chosen to take the main dish for lunch: roast beef. The reason for so much tumult and gossiping was because, in the last lunch, a name was raffled to bring the traditional roast beef. And it was at that moment that everyone’s spine froze from the back of the neck to the coccyx because the name raffled had been “Morgana”. Only the teenagers didn’t care, after all, they liked the chaos. Joana almost fainted, because the lunch would be at her house, in her perfectly white house filled with crochet on every piece of furniture and appliances. For Joana, every lunch must be perfect, and Morgana doesn’t sound like the perfect person to do such an important task.
If you asked any cousin to describe Morgana he would say: long skirt, voluminous hair (more commonly called lion’s mane), flip-flops, lots of tattoos, and a soy burger.
Morgana woke up, took a deep breath, checked her cell phone twice, and yes, it was Sunday, and it was time to pick up her order, the special roast beef. She had been drawn at the previous lunch and could still hear her uncle’s comment “Just don’t bring your weird meat”. She took another deep breath, did her favorite yoga pose, the dog facing downwards, and went to take a shower.
Morgana parked the car in front of the bakery and went inside. “Hi Mor, your order is ready, I’ll go get it. But then, girl, it was hard work, not because of the difficulty itself, but because of the appearance, it gave a bad look. Oh, how chilling it was,” said the friendly pastry chef Luana. Morgana opened the box and smiled, it was perfect. She thanked her and left. The best part of lunch was coming and she could barely hold back her laughter.
It was 12:10 pm and everyone was already around the table, which had been moved to the garden, there was a plate on every available centimeter of the table, and the main dish was right in the center of the table, still covered by cardboard to preserve the flavor. Morgana laughed inside, secretly. Joana, like a good hostess, nudged her husband as if to say “Say a prayer thanking you for the food”, and so it happened. After the collective “Amen”, everyone took a plate and started to serve themselves, but then the cardboard was taken away from the main dish, the “roast beef”, and worse, was Joana who took it away.
Her eyes popped out, her mouth lost color, her hand shook and her soul screamed so loud that the whole block heard it, Joana fainted. Alberto quickly picked up his wife, Dona Inalda ran to get the salt to put on Joana’s tongue, the children took advantage of the chaos and grabbed the jar of sweets and ran away to play, Morgana prepared her best innocent actress face, and then when Joana came to, chaos ensued. It was a cry of “What the fuck is this Morgana? Have you lost your mind? What did you do? Is this what I’m thinking? It’s meat from… oh my God… I’m going to vomit! Holy crap! Morganaaaa!!!”.
Everyone looked, even the teenagers had put down their cell phones and looked in disbelief. Nobody believed it. Morgana stood up and fully began her speech, she chose a cynical and ironic tone and began to speak “Oh my God, I thought you loved meat, meat of all kinds, beef, chicken, duck, sheep. You love lamb, fish, pork, lizard, even puppies, no one here denies calf meat, right, the precious veal. You say you love animals and yet eat them, I thought that because you love people, you… you would also like to try this type of meat.”
Hatred and fear were written in everyone’s eyes. For three seconds no one spoke, but then Bernardo, the talkative male, went towards Morgana with his fist ready, and then, it was war. Some held Bernardo, others wanted to hit him, some defended Morgan’s speech and said that eating meat was hypocritical, and others said that she was insane. There was a division, and the lunch became a jury. Some say that meat is bad for your health, and for the environment and that it is torture. Others said that it was all nonsense, that people are one thing and animals are another, that the body needs proteins and that man is at the top of the animal pyramid.
But in the blink of an eye, the words turned into pushing, throwing food, and a lot of shouting. Morgana laughed, took the hand of the fake roasted corpse, and went to the balcony. She admired the perfection of the lines and colors, it seemed so real, she bit into it with trepidation, but the chocolate melted it, it was delicious, the best cake she had ever eaten. The fake cake idea had been amazing. Meanwhile, the chaos continued in the garden. Morgana didn’t care, she knew that soon they would notice the setup and would burst out laughing, “crazy people, where would I roast a person”, she thought and laughed.
Vanessa Campos
Vanessa Campos 
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